""Sometimes I stand there going, 'I'm not doing any of this right!' "“It’s not easy being a mom. They make me realize I am not the only one who struggles to live day to day as a mom. Shutterstock . I remember one day he decided to “weld the wall” with one of his toys. The only question now is whether you’re the type who yells or the type who gets scarily quiet. Check out my book Get Creating Family Memories. They can find me no matter where I hide.”“Is it possible my kids have a buzzer that alerts them when I sit on the couch?”“You is tired, you is out of coffee, and you is crazy.”“I used to be cool. "“I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them. Although, these Cleaning a house with kids in it is like shoveling in a blizzard.There’s no doubt about it, parenting makes the possibility of a midnight booty call a whole lot less exciting. We’ve said a similar starving kids one and my son always has something to say back lolSo funny! "“You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again?

I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours." They are probably all in counseling.”“Take a breath and count to ten. You’re up all night, there is lots of puking, and you’re perpetually broke.”“Pajama day is the single best holiday on the planet.”“I am convinced the socks and pencils that go missing turn into Tupperware lids overnight while everyone is sleeping.”Let’s face it…parenting life is hard.

We've all been there — and these celeb moms are right there with us. Funny mom quotes are a selection of quotes by famous women who have entered motherhood, combined with … 1- “Everybody leave me alone. Comfort yourself with these Don’t worry, you can always eat everything that’s left on all their plates as you clean up. ― Tim Allen"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. But everyone is into slime.” ― Maya Rudolph“I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. I want to sleep like my husband.”“Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.”“I slept in until 7:30 am this morning. These are Kids know exactly how far they’ve pushed you over the edge from your tone of voice.

“ Children are a great comfort in your old … Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn't sleep.” ― Shonda Rhimes“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. But, hint: You can use these You know your party days are truly over when you can find six sippy cups in under a minute, but don’t even remember what a shot glass looks like.Forget musical chairs; kids’ real favorite game is playing musical beds, all night long.

'"“Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. Phyllis Diller. The sink is clogged, the dog has a purple stripe down his back, and the chocolate cake is gone. "“Every day when you're raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and just scream 'This is ridiculous!' "“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy. When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami. Parenting is wonderful, but it is also really exhausting and worrisome. See more ideas about Mommy quotes, Quotes, Mom quotes. That was pretty funny. So worth it.”Mommy: “No, I don’t want the monster following you into my bedroom and keeping me up all night.”“You’d think after 2, 524 bedtimes, my kids would have this down.”“‘It’s Saturday morning. Not even embarrassed.”“The best part of parenting is eating the leftovers on your kid’s plate because anything left is calorie-free.”“Currently searching for my son’s chocolate I ate last night.”Mom: “Eat your vegetables. These quotes will provide you with such an opportunity, you can find more funny at “The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn't finish. With the pen in the wrong hand. It includes a schedule too. She is as respected as Mother Theresa, as powerful as Stalin, and as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.” ― Parks & Recreation"When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed." "“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. "It's spicy: universal Mom Code for 'I don't want to share.' is what my child said after, "Can you please pick up the popcorn you threw all over? Laugh to have a good day. Or, they might be trying to hide from you because they jumped on all the beds and smeared chocolate on the pillows. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” ― Betty White“Having kids is just like college. After you’re done reading these funny mom quotes, check out the I’m so glad I did it, but it is painful some days! "Nobody loves me but my mother, And she could be jivin' too." It helps to be a sound sleeper when you’re a parent. You're not pregnant. 50 Funny Pregnancy Quotes that Every Mom will Relate to!

"“Ah, babies. No.” ― Mila Kunis“If I wasn't at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man — and by 'party' I mean, of course, endless rounds of 'Itsy Bitsy Spider.” ― Olivia Wilde"Silence is golden.